The Shopping Itch
I generally have a whole lot of fun with my frugal lifestyle. I enjoy gamifying grocery shopping and coming up with creative solutions when surprise home repairs threaten my budget. But my family has been going through some difficult transitions recently, and I’ve noticed an old nagging voice in the back of my head, and it’s saying some pretty crazy stuff. Things along the lines of… maybe you should buy some THINGS to perk yourself up!
Yes, I’ll admit it: I’ve been sorely tempted to spend some money. Mr. Sense and I have plans to redo our kitchen next year, but maybe I should start shopping for tiles and light fixtures now, right? And I’m training for a marathon, so I’d really like to get some more running clothes, even though I’m not supposed to be buying clothes this year.
I’ve mostly resisted thus far, and I’m working to stay aware that external factors and emotions are at play here. My head knows that buying more stuff isn’t what I need. Usually a quick peek at my spreadsheet, a reminder of the running tally of our annual giving and savings amounts, is enough to squash any desire to shop. But sometimes shopping sure seems like an innocent little dopamine boost. Plus, I’ve been working so hard lately!
Here are a few strategies I’m using to stay on track.
The classic wait-it-out move: Instead of denying myself a dubious purchase, I consider it over a decent sized period of time, like a month, and then go for it if I still truly want it. This gives me lots of time to disconnect the purchase from my mood at the time, and I frequently forget about the item I wanted to buy. That’s probably a sign it wasn’t super important.
Work as a team: Mr. Sense and I are on this FIRE journey together, and I appreciate that we can talk about potential purchases without drama. Neither of us is the boss of the money; we make decisions together. If I ask him his opinion about buying something, I can count on him to tell me honestly if he thinks it’s worthwhile or if I’m just bored or stressed. The essential part of making this work is not to get annoyed with your partner if he or she does you the favor of pointing out that you don’t really need the thing you asked about.
Make it a reward: Mr. Sense and I are both fans of making hitting our goals a necessary precondition of unnecessary purchases. Mr. Sense recently asked me about buying Hades II, a video game he really wants but knows he doesn’t need. It costs about $30. I recommended he go for it… after he completes thirty runs of at least three miles each. He’s been wanting to get in shape for a half marathon but struggling to get motivated. And now he’s about a dozen runs in and almost halfway to winning his video game. (I made him a little chart to keep him going!) The key to this strategy is to avoid setting ridiculously easy goals to justify spending money. And the treat should be nice enough to inspire some effort, but not something that will seriously derail your goals.
Run away from the temptation: If I’ve gone perilously far down the shopping path, so far that I’ve actually looked up a potential purchase online, my last ditch effort is to try to escape. I close the browser windows, close the laptop, and walk out of the room. And then I keep walking for a while, without bringing my wallet. Since I bike instead of driving most places, I don’t need to have my license on me, so I don’t even carry my wallet much of the time. Instant savings!
Drop a comment below with your own tips!
