My FIRE Wedding
Weddings and frugality aren’t a popular combination. Bakeries and florists often add surcharges for products associated with weddings, and the list of expenses stretches on. But when I got married, years before I’d ever heard of FIRE or dreamt of retiring before sixty, I managed to have a wedding with all the traditional trappings for a minimal price tag, by today’s standards.
Of course, it’s entirely possible to get married for a lot less than we spent. Everything outside of the marriage license is optional (and some people choose to skip that part as well, which I even considered!). A courthouse wedding or uber intimate ceremony is perfect for many couples.
It’s been a few years, so the details are a little foggy. But here are my best estimates of the actual costs, along with a few tips.
Venue: I got married at my parents’ house! This had the advantage of being free, plus it necessitated a limited guest list to about fifty people, trimming costs elsewhere. $0
Ceremony/legal: The officiant was my aunt, an ordained minister. Besides knowing she would do a lovely job, we were happy to have someone “uncontroversial,” since Mr. Sense’s family is Catholic and my parents are not. We picked up a license from City Hall a month or two beforehand. $80
Wedding cake: This was the one aspect of the wedding that Mr. Sense was very particular about. He attended the cake tasting with my mom and me and picked out the specifics. I believe he ate most of the leftovers the next day. My mom paid for this, including delivery on the big day. $350
Other food: Much of the food was prepared by Mr. Sense on the day of! Other family members helped out as well. It was an afternoon wedding and reception, and we served brunch type hor d'oeuvres, including deviled eggs benedict, bacon, and strawberry mousse. $300
Alcohol: No liquor, but lots of wine and beer. Much of the alcohol was carted out of the reception to the AirBNB we rented for ourselves and some friends for the weekend. $300
Wedding dress: We went to a bigger box store wedding dress place, avoided the aisles of four and five figure gowns, and negotiated a bit. My mom graciously covered this part as well. $350
Party favors: The wedding was right before Christmas, so Mr. Sense and I ordered a bunch of tree ornaments with our picture and the date. They were cute, but we forgot to tell people to grab them on the way out, so we had lots left over. An unnecessary expense. $700
Invitations: My parents designed and ordered these, so I’m not sure of the cost. Because the guest list was small, I’ll estimate $150.
Flowers: One bouquet for me and some boutonnieres for Mr. Sense and his brothers. $170
Photographer: My mom hired a well respected photographer who stayed all day and delivered great pictures in a timely manner. I didn’t negotiate this deal, so I’ll estimate $2000.
Music: I created a playlist on my laptop, and my brother-in-law hit play when it was time for me to walk “down the aisle” through the living room. $0
Miscellaneous: The large AirBNB we rented for ourselves and friends for the weekend, the wonderful young woman my mom hired for the day to help out with trash emptying/platter refilling/clean up, gas money for driving a couple hours back and forth to my parents’ house, the tiara I ordered off Etsy. $1500
For less than $6000, we had a beautiful wedding with family and friends. We didn’t even miss out on the little niceties– there were flowers and cake, a big white dress, professional photos, the whole nine yards.
The wedding industry depends on young smitten people becoming increasingly anxious over having the “perfect” day. Non-crazy people can drive themselves insane when presented with dozens of options for flowers and attire, and start to feel like everything will be ruined if little details don’t come together.
One way to avoid catastrophe-focused thoughts is to completely avoid looking at the “stuff” that doesn’t fit your budget. Don’t try on the $5000 dress just to see how it looks and plan on finding something similar for $200, because of course you’ll want the pricey. You can look at bridal magazines, but certainly don’t buy anything from one of them.
The most important thing to keep in mind: the goal of the wedding should be… marriage. As Jesus said, reiterating Old Testament law, “what God has joined together, let no one separate” (Matthew 19:6). Avoid bombing your new marriage with unnecessary debt from a flashy party, and focus on celebrating the love and commitment a godly marriage represents.
