Self Help
When I was in middle school, a relative sent me a copy of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens, the adolescent targeted version of Steven Covey’s classic, written by his son, Sean Covey. I didn’t know it at the time, but that book would be the first of hundreds of self help style books in my future. My parents instilled a love of reading in my sisters and me, and I’ve often turned to books for advice on all sorts of endeavors. As part of my race to get ahead in my sales career, I’ve read dozens of books on negotiating- my favorite is Never Split The Difference, by veteran hostage negotiator Chris Voss. I devour books by and about athletes I admire, trying to learn from them. I’ve torn through all the interesting looking titles in the personal finance section at the library, plus lots of old finance books I’ve found on my economist mother’s bookshelf. And as a Christian, reading and studying the Bible is an indispensable aspect of my faith; the wisdom and counsel for every situation and the examples set by God’s followers over the ages deserve daily meditation.
Reading is enjoyable, but what’s the real purpose of turning to books so frequently? Well, I have a lot of stuff to get done in my remaining years on this planet. Everything comes down to building stronger relationships- with God, my husband, my family, my friends.
Financial independence aligns with my commitment to prioritizing these relationships. We’ve all heard that no one on her deathbed regrets spending less time in the office. FIRE is the means to hitting my other goals: focusing on my faith, practicing loving and serving my neighbors, being overwhelmed with gratitude for my family and all the blessings of this life.
If you accept the premise that achieving FIRE grants you fresh opportunities to pursue other goals, the question becomes practical. How do you even begin going after such a goal? Here are some common themes I’ve frequently come across in the self improvement literary genre and found support for in my real life experiences.
First, all meaningful goals are immediately attacked by a few critics. Haven’t you heard that it’s almost impossible for anyone to retire now, let alone retire before 65? A family of four requires at least $100,000 per year for survival! The first baby step for aspiring FIRE folks is politely laughing off the naysayers. If you’re ambitious enough to be going after a goal like FIRE, you’ve probably already practiced this skill with the people who warned you that your other goals were also impossible. Yes, I in fact CAN run a marathon, learn Spanish, tithe, bike to work in the snow, and whatever else I put my mind to. The fact is, totally normal people somehow manage to do these things all the time. Just because someone else says he could never live on half your income doesn’t mean you can’t. Millions of people around the world are likely already living on much less than half your income.
After sidestepping the trap of getting talked out of a goal like FIRE before even diving in, it’s time to get to work. Willpower alone isn’t enough, so I like to decide on the specific actions I want to be taking and then set things up so those actions are my only reasonable options, even when my resolve isn’t quite there. My bike commuting is an example of this. At first, I was excited about developing awesome leg muscles and saving some gas money, but I knew my enthusiasm would fade eventually. One thing about biking to work is that once I’ve ridden into work, I’m generally stuck riding home. My husband can pick me up once in a while, but calling to ask him to attach the bike rack to the car, corral our kid into the car, and pause dinner preparations isn’t something I can make a routine. And I can’t avoid that by driving to work in the morning, because we made the choice to only have one car, which Mr. Sense typically needs to cart kids around and deliver kitchen scraps to our chickens (who live in my parents’ backyard, outside the city limits). So, I’ve trapped myself into doing the thing I figured out years ago was best for my financial future.
Boxing yourself in so you almost HAVE TO make the choices that align with your goals isn’t playing mind tricks on yourself; it’s self discipline. I’m not losing my freedom by forcing myself to bike to work. I’m intentionally setting myself up for more freedom. Personal finance beginners might try out this principle with the envelope budgeting system, where you divide cash into envelopes each pay period for all expense categories, like food and gifts, and commit to stopping spending in each category when the money runs out– cut up credit cards if needed!
Another great tip endorsed by many self help authors is to ramp up the accountability factor by talking about your goals and finding like minded people to keep you working hard. When I decided to take six months off drinking (which I’ve since extended), I told my soon-to-be-in-college daughter, so there was no way I could change my mind in a weak moment– after all, I wanted her to see that she could choose not to drink in college. I’ve already told all my friends and the whole internet that I’m running a marathon in November, so I hop out of bed at the eye watering hour of 5:15 AM even if I’m not thrilled about running in the dark and cold. Even writing this blog is a way of publicly throwing down the gauntlet– I’m supposed to be financially independent in early 2031, so I’d better have a good reason for you if I’m not!
Accountability and mental fortitude help along the way, but the toughest part of any self improvement journey has to be relentless reflection and awareness of your personal strengths and weaknesses. I’m a list person, and I sometimes come across my old lists of goals, which is pretty cool. About ten years ago, I was really hoping to save up the then-daunting sum of $20,000 and build my credit to buy a house. Those seemed like big reaches at the time, but I quickly achieved both and moved on to bigger things. When Mr. Sense and I were engaged and dreaming about our lives together, we talked about what our family might look like and wished we could find more room in our budget for giving. God blew our expectations out of the water and blessed us with beautiful kids through foster care and adoption and showed us how to trust Him with our finances.
I continue to read for advice, everything from Washington Post advice columnists to memoirs of people who have accomplished the seemingly impossible. (I just finished Troubled, by Rob Henderson, which I recommend!) Ignoring the naysayers, setting yourself up to hit your goals, and arranging tough accountability for yourself are just a handful of the themes that come up over and over again in self improvement focused literature, and they’re ideas that I’ve been able to successfully apply to my circumstances.
Have you read any inspiring books recently? Leave a comment or email me about a tip you learned and made work for yourself!
