Homeschooling
Homeschooling and other alternatives to public education have exploded in popularity since the start of the Covid pandemic. My husband and I attended the same excellent public school system when we were kids, and homeschooling wasn’t on our radar when we initially discussed becoming parents. As relative newcomers to homeschool teaching, we’re by no means experts on this subject. However, homeschooling has had such a positive and profound impact on our daughter that I want to share my thoughts on why it can be a fantastic option.
Our daughter moved into our home at fourteen, and her adoption was formalized within a year. While education is so important for all young people, it wasn’t top of mind for Mr. Sense and I as newly minted parents of a teenager. However, it soon became clear to us that Kid Sense was struggling at school.
Prior to moving in with us, Kid had missed significant class time, bounced between different schools, and coped with remote learning during the worst of Covid. She had difficulty focusing on academics and was easily drawn into high school drama. A good friend of ours and local public school teacher confirmed some of our fears about the city schools– teachers pushing to make sure all their students moved to the next grade regardless of skills, phones and computers in class distracting from learning, and behavioral issues like skipping class, vaping in bathrooms, and bullying rising. We saw all of these problems creeping up with our own child.
After Kid’s sophomore year, we opted for “homeschool light” over the summer to fill in academic gaps and prepare ourselves to homeschool the following school year if the situation warranted it. The summer was a success; Kid learned a lot and showed a much improved attitude, and we felt confident we could crack it as teachers if necessary. Kid started her junior year at public school, but it was immediately obvious that it wasn’t working. Besides our dislike of the frequent unpleasant conversations with Kid about missing and sloppy assignments, we flinched everytime the phone rang because it was often an administrator or teacher calling with an issue. We pulled Kid out of school within a few short weeks and hurried to create a curriculum.
In an instance of God’s timing being superior to our own, my parents had just moved to the Staunton area. We gratefully accepted their generous offer to serve as teachers. Grandma Sense now teaches algebra, Grandpa Sense teaches theology, Mr. Sense handles chemistry, history, and gym, and I teach English. Having several teachers for one student means that Kid experiences a range of teaching styles. While we adhere to a weekly class schedule, homeschooling offers flexibility for appointments, field trips, and vacations. We have been able to focus on knowledge gaps and work at the best pace for Kid, improving her skills dramatically, particularly in math, logic, and writing. Perhaps most importantly, removing dangerous roadblocks from the equation has had a clear impact on Kid’s mental health. She is increasingly respectful, kind, ambitious, and prepared for adulthood.
Mr. Sense and I did our homework before transitioning Kid out of public school. We read books and talked with longtime homeschool parents, who unanimously encouraged us to make the switch. When it actually came time to let the school system know about our choice, I was surprised how simple it was (though I understand Virginia is more friendly to homeschooling than many other states). On the big day, we dropped off a letter to the superintendent’s office and arranged a brief meeting with the high school principal to inform him of our intent. We provided a very basic list of subjects we planned to cover and copies of our college diplomas, demonstrating our legal qualifications. Since the decision to homeschool was precipitated by a challenging period in our household, we took a few days to cool off, coordinate with my parents, and develop specific plans before starting. We wrote up a class schedule for each day and created clear grading rubrics to justify grades on Kid’s transcript fairly. We did not purchase any curriculum materials to start, though Mr. Sense and Grandma Sense both use Khan Academy as a key resource.
While a big part of our goal was removing Kid Sense from the influence of some of her former classmates, we initially had concerns about her socialization. Fortunately, those fears were completely unfounded. Kid participates in a scholarship program associated with a nearby university and is heavily involved in our church choir, and she spends considerably more time out of class hanging out with other teenagers now than she did as a public school student whose after school interactions were mostly over the phone and social media. Having frequent in person interaction with friends, rather than sometimes toxic contact through technology, makes a difference. Psychologists and journalists frequently chronicle the scary declines in Gen Z mental health, particularly in teenage girls, often pointing to social media and bullying as culprits. Homeschooling, along with strict limits on social media access, has helped divert Kid Sense from a spiritually and physically dangerous path.
Homeschooling our daughter is an enormous privilege we don’t take for granted. This option would not be possible without Mr. Sense as a stay at home parent, and it would be infinitely more challenging without the tireless efforts of my parents. I haven’t talked much about financial independence in this post, but clearly a relatively secure financial position is a prerequisite to being able to homeschool. Given the benefits we’ve seen, I know Mr. Sense and I would choose to make further spending cuts and downsize our lifestyle rather than discontinue homeschooling next year if our income level demanded it.
While the “cost” of homeschooling is significant in terms of potential lost income from a second fulltime earner, it pales in comparison with the value our family receives from homeschooling. And if you’re considering homeschooling your own children, my advice is to jump right in. It can seem intimidating, but with time and effort, you can provide your children with a quality educational experience, tailored to their needs.
