Avoiding Pridefulness
Frugality necessitates my missing out on some non-essential purchases. I’m usually able to resist impulse spending by reminding myself of my financial goals. While I believe that pursuing financial independence for the right reasons is in line with my faith, judging others for their spending, which is none of my business, is not spiritually healthy. Let’s think about what this looks like, and how we can eradicate it in ourselves.
Avoiding pride and a judgemental attitude doesn’t mean ignoring reality. We don’t have to perform mental gymnastics where we pretend to believe that everyone else is handling their money wisely. If a close friend asks for financial advice, we can speak candidly and gently. For me, things get stickier when I’m feeling jealous of what someone else has and try to make myself feel better by building myself up for being smarter with my money. I’ve caught myself saying aloud, “wow, that’s out of my budget, how do you afford that?” when someone else walks in with an especially delicious smelling takeout lunch. But really, I know I can afford it in the same sense the other person can. Even without offending the other person, I’m telling myself my little secret: neither of us can “afford it” based on my definition of affordability, and I think myself very clever for knowing it.
So as is often the case, one sin follows another. God commands us “You shall not covet…anything that belongs to your neighbor,” but we do (Exodus 20:17). This is compounded when we try to undo the covetousness by pretending it’s really a sign of our own virtue: I really want the thing someone else has, but I have too much self control to fall for it. The Apostle Paul reminds us that “if those who are nothing think they are something, they deceive themselves. All must test their own work; then that work, rather than their neighbor’s work, will become a cause for pride” (Galatians 6:3-4). Working diligently and achieving our goals is acceptable, but being proud of ourselves for being spiritually better than others is sinful. Christians who have bigger retirement savings are not morally superior to others because they managed to resist a few unnecessary purchases.
We can combat the tendency towards pridefulness by constantly reminding ourselves that all of our resources belong to God. The Bible contains many warnings about the consequences of forgetting this truth. Our stuff can be taken away if it causes us to stumble. This is spelled out in Proverbs many times, never more clearly than the classic, “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall” (Proverbs 16:18).
Another common pitfall is feeling prideful about our own generosity. Like being conceited because we perceive ourselves as wiser and more restrained when we live frugally, puffing ourselves up because we fulfill our obligation to give is sinful. Jesus calls this out directly: “Beware of practicing your piety before others in order to be seen by them; for then you have no reward from your Father in heaven. So whenever you give alms, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may be praised by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their rewards. But when you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your alms may be done in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you” (Matthew 6:1-4). We should avoid practicing generosity for the approval of an audience or as a way to increase our self esteem. Giving should be about joyful obedience to God.
When I was child, the motivation behind my small offerings to church was pleasing my parents. While securing the approval of others is not the purpose of tithing for adult Christians, this is healthy for young children. When we’re kids, our parents are our closest approximation for God in our childish minds. Obeying our parents and behaving in a way that “glorifies” them is the closest way for children to practice for an adulthood of glorifying God. But as adults, we must shake off any residual urge to gain favor with others when we should be focused on God’s approval.
